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(Left)THE†CANNIBAL†PHANTOM†- It's a bad guy...the worst...the worst bad guy. You know the story about how if Bill Gates drops a thousand dollars on the ground, that it wouldn't be worth his time to pick it up? Well that's how The Cannibal Phantom is about evil. He doesn't even have time to rape you...frankly that's old hat to him. Who has time for that type of behavior anyway? This guy doesn't! (points to Phantom Cannibal). Don't you want a bad guy around to kill the good guys?
(Right) Appalachian Inbred Cannibal Dad - Alright look, this is your dad. This is YOUR dad! The one you've been hiding. Don't be embarrassed of your cannibal dad from Appalachia. Everybody knows you're inbred anyways. There's a certain translucency to skin, that you just cant hide my friend. All the little blue vein and arteries are kind of ruining your chances of getting laid frankly. Don't be ashamed of your father, for he is not ashamed of you and your little blue veins you try to hide. Congratulations...you have a cannibal dad.
These will go on sale Thursday, Sept 20th.
Appalachian Inbred Cannibal Dad - http://nvy.gd/SuJPDz
The Cannibal Phantom - http://nvy.gd/SuGEvN